You know I have always seen other families work really well together and have wondered why mine just can’t. I had a falling out with my sister 3 years ago over miscommunication that could be easily dealt with but other issues have since arisen that have gotten in the way. The saddest thing is that it would be easy to talk it through as adults with a counsellor to get all of our issues out on the table and mend our relationship. Unfortunately though my sister won’t.
I admire the determination of you and your siblings working things out. I would really love to have broken the mold of this friction between siblings that goes back for generations. I can’t with my own sibling but I do drive home the importance of loving your sibling to my own two. They have seen first hand what sadness family friction can bring.
Sure they still fight and argue and I have them sharing a room to help them work together. They have equal doses of getting along and not and I think that as they get older they are growing closer (well at least this is the plan).
Jealousy can be a big thing with siblings – my daughter just the other day burst out telling me I loved her less than her brother. Not true at all!As a parent, I make sure that they know and understand that neither is more special to me than the other. I work really hard at not playing favourites or as my grandmother used to do (and still does) play one up against the other. I work really hard at boosting them up with their own unique qualities and at the same time making them aware that they both have faults like everyone. And the crazy thing is they have told me they know they are loved.
In terms of baggage, I think only children are not immune. My niece and nephew are both only children and each have been dealt hard blows that would give them enough baggage for five! They come across grounded though and because they have their families backing them all the way they will come out just fine (we are determined!)
