[Nicole]

Tamara, I have been thinking over your issue whilst finishing my ironing and you may completely ignore my opinion if you wish to.

I have had many ‘telephone calls’ from the school over the years and I personally try and take it as a good sign. That the school realise I am approachable.

If you can, try and go open minded and willing to listen. Take notes, it shows you are interested and also makes sure everyone minds their P&Q’s.

Keep the teachers on track, ask for actual events not general comments or generalisations of events.

Remain calm, if it is upsetting you, wind the meeting up.

What ever you do, DO NOT go home and discuss it with Noah whilst you are stirred up.

Have a cup of tea with Murray and talk to him.

Good luck, hopefully he has won a prize.

[Tamara]

Thanks Nicole. I am somewhat a sensitive soul and tend to become rather anxious and I think that has everything to do with past experiences. It makes it extremely difficult to face things such as mere little “chats” because being brought up amongst educators I have a very real sense of the type of people I will be conversing with.

They think he is bright but not achieving his “full potential” and some social aspects obviously will be brought up because it popped up over the phone. There could be libraries full of reasons as to why so we will nut this out together and I will put forward the pencil pot idea to help with his classroom organisational skills! He is only eight in a few weeks for heaven’s sake so there IS time! It is just a matter of convincing the teacher we are on to it.

As for Murray, I can’t talk with him just now as he is away at a meeting, of all the times! But ya know, that’s life!

Put it this way, at least she was calm and not a screaming banshee like last year! So that in itself is a good sign.

Calm cool and collected I shall endeavour to be.

Tamara

[Robin]

Tamara, is there one teacher, staff person, administrator that you trust a little more than the rest, or that your son likes? It always to help to feel like there is someone on your side. OR, is there another parent or friend who can go with you if Murray can’t?

I’m sorry that I live in Canada and can’t go with you, or I would!

I always try to keep my cool in those meetings, except for the time, 2 months into the term, when the teacher let me know that Sophie had “lost” all of her school supplies. Really? Where do 24 crayons, 16 pencil crayons, a dozen pencils and 3 erasers go in 8 weeks? She was 6 at the time.

I do find that of the 2 classroom teachers and 2 resource teachers that Sophie has, none of them seem to be on the same page with how Sophie is doing in class. Part of Sophie’s problem is that her social skills are excellent. That covers a multitude of learning issues.

Sorry for my own rant! Calm and cool is the way to go. Write down some questions to take in with you. See if you can all agree on 1 thing for him to work on over the next semester. Find out how the staff will support him to do that one thing. And make sure that your son knows that you and his teachers talk to each other.

You can do this!

[Tamara]

Thanks Robin and you know, as many flies on the wall as possible really helps to discuss things afterwards doesn’t it. I admit I got myself into a right tizz and was busy reverting to the norm of researching! It is what I tend to do if there seems to be something wrong in some way with the children – I google!

It turned out to be rather positive in the end which is good. I needed to let the teacher know I was on board as she had N last year, but also it was a very different class and lots of students with issues.

Put it this way, my son is such a character that you just cant help but enjoy having him around and the little things like calling out in class is a part of his absolute enthusiasm regarding the topic. It just takes reinforcement of why it is not appropriate so that he can remember that although he loves the topic calling out is not ideal because… And he can rattle off the reasons in his head.

Same with getting started on his lessons – mainly writing he loathes writing but can do it well if the topic is interesting to him. Maths the same, he has rather large hands and has trouble manipulating counters and things. The number line gets him baffled. But these are things we can practise at home to help him become more confident and get going because he knows what to do! I just wish I had been informed sooner in order to help him before the end of the first semester.

I’ve asked for updates so I can track his progress and reward at home so that he knows he can earn privileges from mum and dad as well as house points from the teacher.

He’s gone a little backwards since being ill but I think if we are both dealing with it at our respective ends and reinforcing what each of us are saying and doing with him the message will get across.

Robin I totally agree about the teacher you can trust most is the best to talk to, however, in my experience they tend to act as though a chameleon would in nature. The woman I really don’t trust is the primary principal. After last year’s accusations I tend to avoid her as much as possible now and I am very wary of what I say to the class teacher because the senior staff are very thick and WILL. talk. Just experiences I have had regarding observing breach of confidentiality has really helped me to be careful.

It is unfortunate when bright children are brushed aside because of the ignorances of others but if the staff in the class aren’t on the same page with your daughter’s progress it shows different opinions on how she’s doing which isn’t so great when it comes down to actually helping her progress and certainly isn’t helpful to you.

[Sarvi]

Not old enough yet for teacher meetings, so no advice, but the ladies upthread seem to know what they’re talking about. Good luck!

[with love Heidi]

2 year olds to preschool!? Wow meleiza that seems early. Most kids l throw are still at home till they turn 5 and then it’s only 2-3 days a week. wWe have daycare but not “school”.

Tamara, I was thinking about writing and number lino issues. Can you have a few questions/responses prepared. Like for the number lines “Yes I realise he is struggling, we are working on it at home, What other strategies are you (teacher) using to help him understand the same concept in a different way?” Some with not liking writing “Yes he is struggling to tell you what he Knows if he writes and be reeds practice writing, But how are you (teacher) allowing him to show what he Knows without the writing problems interfering?” this way you may feel more prepared and if these topics don’t come up not a problem, but if they do your responses are there ready. ‘

Also maybe take the iPad as your note taking device as it looks professinal and people are more likey to bereasonable / polite if thay think the notes are going on a computer. Maybe ask if you or record the meeting as “Murray is unable to be here”. Again people can be more polite if they think someone else is listening!

Good luck!

[meleliza]

Heidi, agreed, the distinction between school and daycare is pretty blurry at that age. The majority of parents here in the city are in two career families (partly why it’s so hard to find playmates), so full time day care is a need/want for them. So since most children are in full time daycare from a very early age, i think those other parents feel pressured to get their kids into “school” too because its what everyone else is doing.

[Lightning McStitch]

{I know it was a typo but…} With love Heidi, I try not to throw children under the age of 5, and I find the older ones get a bit heavy!

[Sarvi]

Nah, mine started going before she was two and loves it.

[Tamara]

Hehehehehehehehehehehe! Hilaaaaaarious!

Yes it seems that even though she has had three decades of teaching experience she is light on telling me WHAT and HOW she is dealing with the information in the classroom. But on the other hand I think she was just asking for some home support as the notes home are sometimes not on a daily basis. I mean Friday last week he had a bit of a bathroom accident and came home in shorts and Noah had to tell me, not the teacher because it happened at the end of the day with the Art teacher.

The thing is I have to come across as yes you are doing a great job and then scramble behind the scenes to make sure I am “doing my bit”. The teachers at our school place alot of pressure on the parents when it comes to school behaviour and they make you feel insignificant and incapable as a parent. Lets face it kids will act up and stamp their feet etc if they are at home or in public and the trick is as a professional to know how to deal with it on the spot and effectively.

Noah has promised to remember to raise his hand to answer a question or ask the teacher instead of calling out and He has promised to be faster getting started and ready for his lessons in class with all his teachers. In return I have rewards for him and I have said that if he doesn’t do it then he doesn’t get the reward – simple. He reacts well to the cause and effect thing and counting – I use 1-2-3 Magic methods for discipline which works really well and minimises the need to put kids constantly in timeout because often I stop at 2 because they go and do whatever it is they need to do.

I have even bought the dvd for teachers (last year) because I wanted to know how different it would be for the teachers to implement the strategy. I haven’t been brave enough to show the teacher though, however, I might just bring it in for her to take a look with a view of using it with my son. I feel I wouldn’t be stepping on her toes classroom wise but I think it could add something that is otherwise not thought of and because it can be used all through, if all the teachers my son has use the strategy then we would all be nipping the calling out and the other minute things in the bud rather quickly.

She could take it or leave it but ultimately I’d once again be giving her ideas on how to manage my child in order to have him step up a little more.

Because you are right, she didn’t actually tell me (even though I did ask) what strategies she uses in order to stop him calling out. This is a hard one because he was really enthusiastic about the subject so once again there would be a risk of pulling him down emotionally – he is a sensitive kid.

Hard to call really. But the conversation will continue between teacher and myself and yes Noah is very aware that the teacher and I are a team – he was in earshot when I told Imogen this earlier in the term.

I said to the teacher that it might not be his way of learning the lesson via the strategy she was teaching but being in class and a busy class at that, she cant tailor the lesson to individual learning styles. This is where I come in with showing him a slightly different way using the same method – teaching styles and learning styles can clash – just like how I did with Imogen when she couldn’t get some aspects of maths. Of course I don’t have to tell the teacher what I am doing – that would too much justification.

I don’t mind sharing my ideas just so long as they benefit my children.

I know that by the end of year three kids are expected to write two pages in their creative writing activities. i am assuming it would be a page and a half for year twos. But he can write, he just doesn’t like doing it (like his dad) so the writing will be short sharp and to the point and probably messy – he’d make a great doctor if that was the case!

There is no denying we all agree he is a bright kid. And because it is reporting time I am not going to be expecting more than average on his report on anything other than reading and comprehension (he excels at that).

So we shall see what happens. With holidays looming it will give a chance to do some extra work with him so that he can be truly “in the zone” when term starts again.

[with love Heidi]

Oops, I’m still getting used to the tablet. It has a popup on screen keyboard that capitalises the first letter of any word or a stylus that converts handwriting to text but is not that accurate (for me as my writing is messy). The handwriting program guesses what you want and sometimes is not that good, hence a lot typos!

Tamara l love the 123magic program, a few of my friends use it and it makes babysitting their kids much easier as they respond really well. I have a vauge idea there maybe a classroom/school version.

[Tamara]

You know it isnt really that different but it would make a world of difference to let teachers know so that the message can be consistent in the same way. I love fast and effective and I wish it was around (or I knew about it) back in my child care days. The teacher one addresses the calling out and starting work etc so I think what I will do is revisit it myself and then hand it on should the issues continue. It may actually help her with some other class members who are exhibiting the same behaviours.

He had a much better day today which is great. I will just do daily reminders and make sure he keeps his “responsible year two” list which he made up himself in the forefront of that brilliant brain of his.

Apparently the game of the moment is “hobos” does anyone know how to play? I have no clue but just so long as the play is pleasant and appropriate it is alright with me. I think it has something to do with a bush part of the play area they are allowed to play in.

As it happens, I have been asked to “help” make costumes for this assembly item – mainly alterations and whipping up a lion’s head and monkey heads. All I can say is I am back in the teacher’s good books for “behaving myself” yesterday and I am really thankful for having the LTTS book in my precious treasury of sewing go to’s. and because of that I am “worthy” of helping lol.

[with love Heidi]

I’ve made a lion (well 2) from the bear hood. I made them both in a morning. I’ll see if l can get the pics up fr you.

[Tamara]

That would be great! I may have to do flying monkeys too so if that is the case I will do them all together.

[with love Heidi]

Tamara, I have just seen a great tutorial that could easily become winged monkeys!

http://www.ikatbag.com/2013/06/bug-party-butterfly-wings-tutorial.html