[designerfashion]

When should you ask your friends if they would like to be bridesmaids?

Im only just recently engaged and I have 3 definites but also one maybe, and I dont want to ask the 3 and make the 4th feel like an add on… I am not planning to get married for another 18 months or so (havent set a date yet but it will likely be in 2013).

I just feel like 18 months is a long time and I dont want to ask right now and regret later!

On the other hand I dont want to leave it too late and have my friends feel like im not going to ask!

[thejennigirl]

If you are ordering dresses from a bridal shop (& PLEASE do NOT go to Davids, the quality is crap & they need alterations, like letting out, many seamstresses will laugh at you (me included) and the David’s seamstress contract is ridiculous priced), most companies can get dresses in in less than 6 months but 3 months is the cutoff for a rush order 99% of the time. So I would say, ask then between 9 months and a year before the wedding.

And, again, I beg of you, buy quality dresses. If someone needs a take in or a bridesmaid finds out she’s pregnant shortly after you order the dresses & needs a let out, you’ll thank yourself.

Jenn (who works at a bridal shop as a seamstress/sales associate)

[Tamara]

I’m not sure if there is a rule to this. I know in Australia you need to start getting organised in the way of dresses about a year before your date. I you haven’t set a date yet, then do that first and choose your bridesmaids after that.

Bridesmaids will be fussy in terms of what they get to wear but ultimately it is YOUR wedding so keep in mind potential whinging about styles etc.

If they are really close friends and not in it just to be a bridesmaid then they will understand and go with everything including date setting theme and everything. Some people like to spoil it for the couple and put their two bobs worth in. By all means listen to them but don’t be swayed. Be definite about your decision being your’s and your fiance’s (I hope he is enthusiastic about wedding planning).

Congratulations! This is a really exciting time in your life. Enjoy it and take your time in planning. The girls you choose will be your driving force to get you through some really stressful moments and prop you up – they will be your cheer squad. You need to be able to trust them implicitly to have them in your bridal party and then there will be no regrets ten years after your wedding.

[Sarvi]

Do you need a particular number of bridesmaids for a reason (to match groomsmen or something)? I would say stick to the definites. A maybe bridesmaid seems to me to go rather against the spirit of the enterprise.